A Confession for 2019

Blessed be the holy Trinity, + one God, who forgives all our sin, whose mercy endures forever.

Merciful God, I confess that I have sinned in thought, word, and deed, by what I have done and by what I have left undone.

I have allowed the criticisms of others to define my actions and stopped doing what I love in order to please them. I am an ordained minister of Word and Sacrament, and it is to those that I am called.

I have believed those who have said I can’t, and wondered if they’re right after all.

I have focused more on the causes that speak to my heart, such as the treatment of the poor, women, racial minorities, and the LGBTQ+ community, than the concerns of those around me. I shouldn’t stop advocating for these causes, but I have failed to consider other causes and concerns.

I have been angry. So angry, all the time. And bitter. And that anger and bitterness has made it difficult to be pastorally present.

I have been consumed by politics like never before. It feels terrible.

I have found the perfect, destructive balance between selfishness and the absence of any self-care. I don’t sleep when I should, I eat crap, I don’t exercise, and I let sleep deprivation run my waking hours for too many years. I let illness run unchecked and untreated because I was afraid.

I have felt like giving up. Maybe I did.

I have been vindictive when I felt wronged, and stubborn when I felt right.

I have been impatient.

I repent of all my sins, known and unknown. I am truly sorry, and I pray for forgiveness. I firmly intend to amend my life, and to seek help in mending what is broken. I ask for strength to turn from sin and to serve you in newness of life.

Featured Image: “Incense” by michael_swan is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0.

Parts taken from the Individual Confession and Forgiveness liturgy in Evangelical Lutheran Worship.